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认清恐惧,掌控人生:斯多葛哲学与Fear-Setting的实用指南

听力内容简介

本文结合斯多葛哲学与Fear-Setting方法,通过TED演讲实例分享如何识别与应对恐惧,帮助读者提升情绪管理与决策能力,同时提供英语听力与口语训练素材,助力个人成长与人生掌控。

小技巧:选中单词后按放大器可以翻译单词哦

文章内容

精选100篇经典TED演讲,时长8-15分钟,内容涵盖创新、成长与未来趋势。提供MP3在线播放、下载及英文文本,助你提升听力与口语。用思想的力量,点燃学习热情!下面是本期【TED】100篇经典演讲口语听力素材合集的内容,坚持积累,让你的英语更贴近生活!

So this happy pick of me was taken in 1999, I was a senior in college, and it was right after dance practice. I was really, really happy. And I remember exactly where I was about a week and a half later, I was sitting in the back of my used minivan, and I campus parking lot when I decided that I was going to commit suicide. And I went from deciding to a full blown planning very quickly, and I came this close to the edge of the precipice. It's the closest I've ever come. And the only reason I took my finger off the trigger was thanks to a few lucky coincidences. And after the fact, that's what scared me the most, the element of chance. So I became very methodical about testing different ways that I could manage my ups and downs, which has proven to be a good investment. Many normal people might have say six to ten major depressive episodes in their lives. I have bipolar depression, runs in my family. I've had 50 plus at this point, and I've learned a lot. I've had a lot of at-bats, many rounds in the ring with darkness, taking good notes. So I thought, rather than get up and give any type of recipe for success or highlight real, I would share my recipe for avoiding self-destruction. And certainly self-paralysis.

And the tool I found, which is proven to be the most reliable safety net for emotional free fall, is actually the same tool that has helped me to make my best business decisions, but that is secondary. And it is stoicism. That sounds boring. I might think of Spock or might conjure an image like this. A cow standing in the rain. It's not sad. It's not particularly happy. It's just an impassive creature taking wet over life sends its way. You might not think of the ultimate competitor, say Bill Dullichek, head coach, and doing the Patriots. He is the all-time NFL record for Super Bowl titles. And stoicism has spread like wildfire in the top of the NFL ranks as a means of mental toughness training in the last few years. You might not think of the founding fathers, Thomas Jefferson, John Adams, George Washington to name, but three students of stoicism. George Washington actually had a play about a stoic. This was Keto a tragedy, performed for his troops at Valley Forge to keep the motivated. So why would people of action focus so much on an ancient philosophy? This seems very academic. And I would encourage you to think about stoicism a little bit differently as an operating system for thriving and high-stress environments, for making better decisions.

And it all started here, kind of, on a porch. So around 300 BC, in Athens, someone named Xeno of Citium, taught many lectures walking around a painted porch, a stoa that later became stoicism. And in the Greco-Roman worlds, people use stoicism as a comprehensive system for doing many, many things. But for our purposes, chief among them was training yourself to separate what you can control from what you cannot control. And then doing exercises to focus exclusively on the former. This decreases emotional reactivity, which can be a superpower. Conversely, let's say you're a quarterback, you miss a pass, you get furious with yourself, that could cost you a game. If you're a CEO and you fly off the handle at a very valued employee because of a minor infraction, that could cost you the employee. If you're a college student who, say, is in a downward spiral and you feel helpless and hopeless, unabated, that could cost you your life. So the stakes are very, very high.

And there are many tools in the toolkit to get you there. I'm going to focus on one that completely changed my life in 2004. And it found me then, because of two things, a very close friend, young guy, my age, died of pancreatic cancer unexpectedly. And then my girlfriend, who I thought I was going to marry, walked out. She'd had enough. And she didn't give me a dear John letter, but she did give me this, a dear John plaque. I'm not making this up, I've kept it. Business hours are over at five o'clock. She gave this to me to put on my desk for personal health because of the time I was working on my first real business. I had no idea what I was doing. I was working 14 plus hour days, seven days a week. I was using stimulants to get going. I was using depressants to wind down and go to sleep. It was a disaster. I felt completely trapped. And I bought a book on simplicity to try to find answers. And I did find a quote that made a big difference in my life, which was, we suffer more often in imagination than in reality. By Seneca the Younger, who's a famous, stoic writer. That took me to his letters, which took me to the exercise, pre-meditatio malorum, which means the pre-meditation of evils. And in simple terms, this is visualizing the worst case scenarios and detail that you fear, preventing you from taking actions that you can take action to overcome that paralysis.

My problem was monkey mind, super loud, very incessant, just thinking my way through problems doesn't work. I needed to capture my thoughts on paper so I created a written exercise that I called fear setting, like goal setting for myself. And it consists of three pages, super simple. The first page is right here. What if I dot, dot, dot question mark? This is whatever you fear, whatever is causing you anxiety, whatever you're putting off, could be asking someone out, ending a relationship, asking for promotion, quitting a job, starting a company, could be anything. For me, it was taking my first vacation in four years and stepping away from my business for a month to go to London, where I could stay in a friend's room for free, to either remove myself as a bottleneck in the business or shut it down. In the first column, define, you're writing down all of the worst things you can imagine happening if you take that step. And you want 10 to 20. I'm not going to go through all of them, but I'll give you two examples. So one was, I'll go to London. It'll be rainy. I'll get depressed. The whole thing will be a huge waste of time. Number two, I'll miss a letter from the IRS and I'll get audited, er, rated or shut down or some such. Then you go to the prevent column. And in that column, you write down the answer to, what could I do to prevent each of these bolts from happening or at the very least, decrease the likelihood, even a little bit? So for getting depressed in London, I could take a portable blue light with me and use it for 15 minutes in the morning. I knew that helped to stay off depressive episodes. For the IRS bit, I could change the mailing address on file with the IRS. So the paper work would go to my accountant instead of to my UPS address. Easy peasy. Then we go to repair. So if the worst case scenario has happened, what could you do to repair the damage even a little bit or who could you ask for help? So in the first case, London, well, I could fork over some money, fly to Spain, get some some sun, undo the damage if I got into a funk. In the case of missing letter from the IRS, I could call a friend who is a lawyer or ask say a professor of law. What they would recommend, who I should talk to, how had people handled this in the past? So one question to keep in mind as you're doing this first page, is has anyone else in the history of time less intelligent or less driven figured this out? Chances are the answer is yes.

The second page is simple. What might be the benefits of an attempt or a partial success? So you can see we're playing up the fears and really taking conservative look at the upside. So if you attempted whatever you're considering, might you build confidence, develop skills, emotionally, financially, otherwise, what might be the benefits of say a base hit? Spend 10 to 15 minutes on this. Page three. This might be the most important, so don't skip it. The cost of an action. Humans are very good at considering what might go wrong if we try something new, say ask for a raise. What we don't often consider is the atrocious cost of the status quo, not changing anything. So you should ask yourself, if I avoid this action or decision and actions and decisions like it, what might my life look like in say six months, 12 months, three years? Any further out, it starts to seem intangible and really get detailed. Again, emotionally, financially, physically, whatever. And when I did this, it painted a terrifying picture. I was self-medicating. My business was going to implode at any moment at all times, but in step away, my relationships were fraying or failing. And I realized that in action was no longer an option for me.

Those are the three pages. That's it. That's fear-setting. And after this, I realized that on a scale of one to ten, one being minimal impact, ten being maximal impact, if I took the trip, I was risking a one to three of temporary and reversible pain for an eight to ten of positive life-changing impact. It could be semi-permanent. So I took the trip. None of the disasters came to pass. I was able to extricate myself from the business. I ended up extending that trip for a year and a half around the world. And that became the basis for my first book that leads me here today. And I can trace all of my biggest wins and all of my biggest disasters averted back to doing fear-setting at least once a quarter. It's not a panesia. You'll find that some of your fears are very well-founded. But you shouldn't conclude that without first putting them under a microscope. It doesn't make all the hard times, the hard choices easy, but it can make a lot of them easier.

So I'd like to close with a profile of one of my favorite modern-day stoics. This is Jersey Gregorak. He is a four-time world champion in Olympic weightlifting, political refugee, published poet, 62 years old. He can still kick my ass and probably most asses in this room. He's an impressive guy. I spent a lot of time on his stove at his porch asking life and training advice. He was part of the solidarity in Poland, which was a nonviolent movement for social change that was violently suppressed by the government. He lost his career as a firefighter. Then his mentor, a priest, was kidnapped, tortured, killed, and thrown into a river. He was then threatened. He and his wife had to flee Poland, bounce from country to country until they landed in the US with next to nothing sleeping on floors. He now lives in Woodside, California, in a very nice place. And of the 10,000-plus people I've met in my life, I would put him in the top 10 in terms of success and happiness. And there's a punchline coming. It's a pay attention. I sent him a text a few weeks ago asking him, had he ever read any stock philosophy? When you replied with two pages of text, this is very unlike him. He is a terse dude. Not only was he familiar with stoicism, but he pointed out for all of his most important decisions, his inflection points, when he stood up for his principles and ethics, how he had used stoicism and something akin to fear setting, which blew my mind. And he closed with two things. Number one, he couldn't imagine any life more beautiful than that of a stoic. And the last was his mantra, which he applies to everything and you can apply to everything. Easy choices, hard life. Hard choices, easy life. The hard choices, what we most fear doing, asking, saying, these are very often exactly what we most need to do. And the biggest challenges and problems we face will never be solved with comfortable conversations, whether it's in your own head or with other people. So I encourage you to ask yourselves, where in your lives right now might defining your fears be more important than defining your goals? Keeping in mind all the while, the words of Seneca, we suffer more often in imagination than in reality. Thank you very much.

部分单词释义

  • comprehensive

    形容词综合的; 广泛的; 有理解力的,悟性好的; [保险业]总体担保的

    名词[常用复数]专业综合考试; 综合学校; 综合性中学

    1. 综合性的;全面的
    Something that is comprehensive includes everything that is needed or relevant.

    e.g. The Rough Guide to Nepal is a comprehensive guide to the region.
    《尼泊尔概况》是一本全面介绍该地区的旅游指南。

    2. (英国的公立性)综合中学
    In Britain, a comprehensive is a state school in which children of all abilities are taught together.

    e.g. ...Birmingham's inner-city comprehensives...
    伯明翰旧城区的综合中学
    e.g. She taught French at Cheam Comprehensive in South London.
    她在伦敦南部的奇姆综合中学教法语。

  • paralysis

    名词麻痹,瘫痪; 中风; 无能,无气力

    1. 麻痹;瘫痪
    Paralysis is the loss of the ability to move and feel in all or part of your body.

    e.g. ...paralysis of the leg.
    腿部麻痹

    2. 瘫痪状态
    Paralysis is the state of being unable to act or function properly.

    e.g. The paralysis of the leadership leaves the army without its supreme command.
    领导层瘫痪导致军队没有最高指挥。
    e.g. ...a kind of mental paralysis.
    一种精神瘫痪状态

  • precipice

    名词悬崖,峭壁

    1. 悬崖;峭壁
    A precipice is a very steep cliff on a mountain.

    2. 险境;危局;绝境
    If you say that someone is on the edge of a precipice, you mean that they are in a dangerous situation in which they are extremely close to disaster or failure.

    e.g. I was beginning to admit to myself that our marriage was rolling toward the edge of a precipice...
    我内心开始承认我们的婚姻正走向危险的边缘。
    e.g. The King now stands on the brink of a political precipice.
    国王现在处于政治上岌岌可危的境地。

  • extricate

    及物动词使摆脱困难,脱身

    名词解脱; 解脱者

    1. 使摆脱;使脱离
    If you extricate yourself or another person from a difficult or serious situation, you free yourself or the other person from it.

    e.g. It represents a last ditch attempt by the country to extricate itself from its economic crisis...
    那是该国摆脱经济危机的最后一搏。
    e.g. She tugged on Hart's arm to extricate him from the circle of men with whom he'd been talking.
    她拽着哈特的胳膊,把他从那群正和他聊天的男人中拖了出来。

    2. 解救;救出
    If you extricate someone or something from a place where they are trapped or caught, you succeed in freeing them.

    e.g. ...extricate the survivors...
    解救幸存者
    e.g. He endeavoured to extricate the car, digging with his hands in the blazing sunshine.
    他在烈日下用手挖着,拼命想要把那辆汽车弄出来。

  • methodical

    形容词有条不紊的; 有方法的; 井然

    1. 有板有眼的;有条不紊的;井然有序的
    If you describe someone as methodical, you mean that they do things carefully, thoroughly, and in order.

    e.g. Da Vinci was methodical in his research, carefully recording his observations and theories...
    达·芬奇搞研究井井有条,会详细记录观察资料和理论学说。
    e.g. It seemed a sensible and methodical way of proceeding.
    这似乎是继续下去的一种明智而有序的做法。

    methodically
    She methodically put the things into her suitcase.
    她把物品井然有序地放进了箱子。
  • visualizing

    肉眼观察;在脑中使形象化,设想,想像( visualize的现在分词 );